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Author Topic: Making profit is illegal in USA  (Read 1353 times)
Canardian
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« on: March 28, 2003, 13:04:22 »

'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Wednesday March 19, 2003



By CHAD KULTGEN

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims
to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-
old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny
success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on
January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a
pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two
weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every
trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which
simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside
information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until
he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors
crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-
risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the
eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological
breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow
knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-
hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more
than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200
years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era
experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone
armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through
the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his
videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you
know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect.
But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to
divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin
Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time
craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss
how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into
the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are
bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any
Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds.
Keep watching for further developments.
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Sarago
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« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2003, 14:05:42 »

oh crap... i better hide my time machine well then...
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Canardian
writer of chronicles
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« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2003, 02:45:58 »

You still got the old C204 GDTDU, or already using the new beta version of C218 ?
The C218 is much smaller than the old C204 (which was also heavy as hell), and has 4 time singularity intersection (the C204 has only 2 singularities), which makes of course time travels much more safe and allows also "almost" linear return into the source time. The old C204 kept popping you back where the environment was totally different and you had to start your friends and life from scratch, LOL Smiley
There's also more of us, John Titor has gone public with the C204 few years "ago":
http://www.anomalies.net/time_travel/john.html
I hope he didn't reveal too much of the design, well at least he didn't post the blueprints of the circuits, else it could land in wrong hands...
« Last Edit: March 29, 2003, 02:48:47 by Lumooja » Logged

-LOTRO - Vigg - 16 Dwarf Guardian, EVE - Imperaattori - Raven / Lvl 4 mis, WoW - Lumooja - 70 UD Mage (Fire Spec), WoW - Hoitsu 42 UD Priest (Holy Spec), Saalistaja - 30 Orc Hunter (Beast Spec), EQ - Lumooja - 70 Enc, EQ - Papitar - 56 Clr, EQ2 - Lumooja - 20 Wiz, SWG - Lumooja - Bounty Hunter, AO - Robotti - 86 Eng, AO - Hoitsu - 110 Doctor, DAoC - Lumooja - 12 RM
Naakka
Guildmember: Darkfall
writer of chronicles
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Shit Lord


« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2003, 09:11:26 »

No no no, not this again Tongue
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